You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
