I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
