I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
