none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
