Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
