Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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