so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
