im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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