Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish I could teleport
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
