new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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