come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
