Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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