I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
