Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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