So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
