Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
