You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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