We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
