Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
