Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
