What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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