census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
