I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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