VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
