why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
