mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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