Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
