somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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