I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
