I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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