Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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