ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
