Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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