My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
