I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
