I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
