My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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