He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
