She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
this hospital has no fireball
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
