I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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