u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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