dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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