There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
