direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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