honey bunches of taint.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
