S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
