I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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