She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
