i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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