I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
