I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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