I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
