Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
