is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
