I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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