what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
