I need help removing her.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
