Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
