I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
