On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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