my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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