Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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