apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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